Saturday, April 25, 2009

And this one's ending with a heart attack.

Love On A Lifeline - Jesse Barrera!

I'm way too shy around people I like (:
That's the only problem, I guess.

I can NOT possibly tell you how much I'm in love with this song. It's a cover from Jesse Barrera. LOL He's so sexyy. From My American Heart! YEEEUUUH.

hey, what did you think i'd say?
you're everything that i ever wanted
and this kind of thing doesn't just come around
every time you go looking for it

i don't wanna be just friends, no
i'll never fake it or pretend
and i don't want another girl
cause you're the only one i love..

i don't wanna be just friends
that's something i can't understand
i don't wanna be just friends
not now, not ever
those two words are bullets in my chest
"just friends"

hey what did you think i'd do?
it felt so good waking up beside you
and the way you kiss, so delicate
doesn't come around and i'm always gonna miss it.

i don't wanna be just friends, no
i'll never fake it or pretend
and i don't want another girl
cause you're the only one i love..

119 more days♥

I got new Vans, even though I just got some two weeks ago. Old Skool BBY ^__^

Friday, April 24, 2009

Memories mean everything.

I'm admitting everything, I honestly miss him like fuck. 

(8:09:48 PM): yeaaah
(8:09:53 PM): but i hate myself
(8:09:56 PM): well stop that
(8:09:58 PM): :P
(8:10:06 PM): i cant even
(8:10:10 PM): talk to him >_>
(8:10:25 PM): if it makes you feel better
(8:10:27 PM): he cant talk to you either
(8:10:28 PM): (:
(8:10:42 PM): why not D:
(8:10:55 PM): cuz
(8:11:02 PM): everytime we talk about you he get all
(8:11:05 PM): eriougnaeriugneuiagnr ugghh
(8:11:07 PM): you know?
(8:11:12 PM): :]

Thursday, April 23, 2009

That's horrible.

I miss him so much. 

I didn't know if his class was allowed to text during the CST's.
I'm such a fucking noobshit,
like what my screenname says.

Just kill me now, shoot me.

121 more days.

(4:59:20 PM): ______ is very lucky
(4:59:22 PM): that you like him
now if only he realized.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Every second that I'm with you I can feel my heart beating.


I really miss him ):
I need to do something about this before everything just dies. I can't let it die D: I just can't stand standing here watching every fall apart. Everything. All our chances.

I hate how I always fuck up my own life.
I make the wrong decisions and I'm always left with tons of regrets.
And I have no idea why.


Scared as crap. I want froyo before I get them :) HAHHAA.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Take back your cold and empty heart.

I want a fucking time machine.

Now please.
I'd like to go back to the summer.
Maybe even 8th grade. Please.


Friday, April 10, 2009

I thought I was lost in the city, it was just your eyes.


I woke up a hour ago and it just started bleeding. And my left ear is puffy-er than my right ear so I didn't think that was a good thing. CRAAAPPP!D: I hate lifeee. Everything hurts. My ear. My teeth. My heart. My foot -__- ASDJHASFJKAHJKASG.

Kids In Love - Red Car Wire; The music video's so weird how he just randomly skateboards to a house and eventually he's "late" then he just starts singing. LOL isn't he supposed to be out of breath?!
With You - Hello Hollywood; Cover of Chris Brown's "With You". I find it better cause I'm kind of annoyed at the real version HAHAAA.[;
Everything We Had - The Academy Is; They don't have any versions of the real song on Youtube. Only the covers made by people, so search somewhere else!♥
Good Morning Fire Eater - Copeland; Funny thing is I've always known this song but I never knew what it was called til I found it on youtube.
You're Not Alone - Devotion; This song isn't rock or alternative o_o I actually have no idea what genre it falls under. LOL. But it's pretty goood! Not rly. LOL.

"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally,
in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Search the skies.

I can't unthink about you. I can't unfeel your touch.
I can't unhear all the words, or unsay all the things that used
to mean so much. I wish I could unremember everything
my heart's been through. I'm find out it's impossible to do.
I can't unlove you.


I can't wait to go shopping on Sunday (: Omgaaaah. With Catherine<3 OVERACHIEVERS! ♥ ASDGASHF MY TUMMY HURTS. LOL. I'm too lazy to do homework. Yesterday was such a weird day, crappy birthday much?! D: Idk. Cheesecake with friends was alriiiight ;p x_x

I don't really feel like updating much today.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Breathe assurance in my ear.

@9:06AM; Guess what today is? My birthday. I'm not feeling excited or anything. I'm probably not even doing anything today, cause I'm rideless. Yup. Not so perfect birthday. Everyone's just busy D: Haha sorry I didn't update yesterday. o_o LOLOL. I'm saying sorry to my blogspot :D Anyways it was fine yesterday, Fast & Furious was pretty good actually; but I wouldn't say it was the best. Well after all the guys left to go to Hugo Reid (like they always do) I met up with my "cousin" and Catherineee so we hung / shopped around til we were hungry then we went to Dave & Busters to eat (: I love runon sentences, do you? :D Anyways this is going to be one crappy birthday. Look what I'm doing already. I'm on AIM and blogging, and the day barely even "started" yet. Awwh.

I'm going to find something to do now.
Adiiiios. T_T He didn't even say Happy Birthday to me at midnight .. ): Not even yet .. adgasgjdsag =,[

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Where has all the love, where has all the love gone?


@9:24 Well yeah. Today I'm going to watch Fast & Furious. Finally! I hate life D: It's hard living without knowing things you know? The best feeling in the world is to know that someone loves you back, for sure. And now I can't live with that .. so my heart's pretty empty. Tomorrow's my birthday and I don't even feel excited for it.

I've been watching you from the corner of my eye,
I can't stand it, be too close, can't stand it

Be too far and I can't say why, yeah and as the shadow fades
Where you walk away, my secret's written all across my face
I only want you near me.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Stars feel like knives, they tell us why we're fighting.

I can NOT possibly wait for Music Camp anymore.
I'm so ready to get away from my city life for a week. Mountains(: & I have to visit band camp again, Neil's gonna make me. But I was planning to anyways!

AUGUST23-28, 2009♥

Hahaa(: I found out there's a BOC dance at the end of the year. Band Orchestra Colorguard! :D It's on June 5th. I can't wait for that either, well it's a banquet but yeah.

Yes, a heart can hallucinate, when it's starved for love.
It can even make monsters seem like angels from above.

ASDHASFJKASJKFJSAF. Did I tell you how much I love quotes?!

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."

Saturday, April 4, 2009

And I'm trying to carve my way back into your heart.

(photo credit leilachee.

I miss him, I really do.

Now that music camp posters are up everywhere in the band/orchestra room, all the memories reflected back to me. August 25-31st. Those were the days. Music camp was just a week to get away from your home life, your problems, and just live life freely up in the mountains. However, last year's music camp was just perfect in my opinion. That's cause I actually .. idk;

I miss you.
I miss how we would always text/IM each other with our sidekicks.
I miss how you would always wait for me to come out of my cabin.
I miss how we used to constantly look at each other.
I miss the way you smiled when you received my texts.
I miss our song, you know, Lucky - Jason Mraz , yeah that song.
I miss how we would always complain about the crappy signal up there.
I miss the cafeteria meals, how orchestra camp's food was better than band's.
I miss that time when you asked me why I wasn't dancing at the BOC dance.
I miss our first hug on tribute night, when we were supposed to be shaking hands.
I miss gossiping til late at night, well early in the morning.
I miss going to sleep knowing that I was in your mind.
I miss how much we talked there, and how close we were.

I think not.

I can't emphasize how much it was perfect.

(i took that picture, on my sidekick lx too. yeah it's edited but not much)

I don't know what to do. Honestly I don't. Well today I went to Ontario Mills. Haha sadly I didn't see that many cute guys. I love how people text me whenever they see a cute guy or girl. <3 Cause that's exactly what I do. You know, I really want to watch the Fast & Furious movie :D I think I'm going on Monday. Four more days til my birthday. I think I'm going to Disneyland on my birthday with the FANTASTIC FOUR. Me Maggie Connie Nancy. Well it's almost 11:11pm, time to wish. Those little stars in the sky never work on me ): I really need to make a wish right now, I need to depend on the stars. I want them to help me, if only they knew what I was going through D: I really need some help here. Starlight, star bright.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Would you cry, if you saw me crying?

Picture Credit goes to Ashley Feng (:

I lost him.

late night talks. music camp. offering to teach me how to swim. summer school. earthquake. sweet ims. conversations during summer class. movies. sadies hawkins dance. christmas gift. birthday letter. talking to you at six flags. lucky jason mraz. nonstop texts. supposedly stand partners. disneyland. iminlikewithyou. omgpop. ffs. mall. teddy bear. sidekick. how we have everything in common. holding hands. how i was able to talk to you about anything and/or everything. hidden love. secret smiles. being shy around each other. your happiness around me. smiling to your texts. your messed up schedule. you being an exception for stealing my myspace songs. counting sidekick flashes. dark shadows in the night. staying up with me. orchestra orientation. your warm hugs. worrying about music camp/blocks. how perfect we looked when were together. comfortable awkward silences. getting pissed at the crappy signal. first hug at boc camp. us being close friends. jwalking. our sns next to each other. ID number/phone number. constant looks. stares. me&you. missing you. nine months

We can't fix it anymore. I waited too long. Nine whole months. It was worth it while it lasted :| Yes, it was fate all those times. Now everything's all gone ): Cause of one little mistake of waiting too long. I realized if I had told him earlier, I wouldn't have been this sad right now. I'd be so effing happy. I just want to be close friends with him again. I want that more than anything right now. There's no one else as perfect as him in my eyes, but then again I don't have his heart anymore ):

"You never know what you have til it's all gone."

I can relate to my favorite song.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Spring Concert's tomorrow. Yeah. I'm not sure if I should be excited or not. Asdjhasdfjfsadg. I seriously can't take it anymore ): I'd like to skip Friday and move on with Spring Break. I'd be happy to go to school tomorrow, but not Friday. Lmfao. Seven days til my birthday♥

Happy Birthday Maggie<3